Man Dates

I know, odd title.

As we get older, we have odd situations that pop up by well intentioned people. Sometimes we even put ourselves and/or our loved ones in odd situations.

Let me give you an example. When we are young, we hangout with the people who live around us. Those in our sports programs, from our schools…etc. As adults, we hangout with people from work, or our families. If you are a woman and become a stay at home mom, you go through times of feeling extreme loneliness so you try and join mommy groups

As men, you try and connect with those at work, which can be a challenge if you don’t drink as that seems to be the easiest way for men to connect. Second being working out or a sport.

Living in Orange County, California…most time spent is in making enough money to continue living in the OC. That leaves little time for being around others.

As a couple you dream of other couples you’ll connect with. Generally you like either the man or his wife…rarely both. I say that fairly confidently after a lot of discussions with others.

As soon as you find someone you like, it’s a prayer that the spouses will get along.

Let’s back up. I have always had a hard time finding and keeping friends. My problem is twofold (probably way more than that, but we’ll stick with 2). I don’t trust people. I assume as soon as I like someone they will leave.

With 2 issues like those, it’s been difficult. As I learned to work on my relationship with God, more than any other. I would cry out to God that I wanted a friend that I could trust. One that would stick with me, even when they found out all the ugliness inside of me.

God answered. It did take time, but as I learned how to be in relationships, through what I was learning in the Bible, He brought me an amazing woman who is just about as opposite of me as you could get.

We started a relationship in a ministry we were both involved in. (I had met her through our kids being in a small group together and talked her in to joining the ministry). Though we were so different, we started leaning on each others strengths and supporting each other through the weaknesses…and then we decided…as our relationship grew…it was time to get our husbands together.

We setup a double date to try and maneuver a “man date” to happen between our husbands. Thankfully, conversation flowed throughout the evening and the guys were able to find something THEY could connect with.

This started a great relationship between families.

Are you feeling isolated? Do you wish you had someone to hangout with? Call and shoot the breeze with?

You aren’t meant to be alone. You aren’t meant to live life by yourself. You aren’t meant to be around people who don’t love you enough to hold you accountable.

You can try getting set up on “friend dates” and having your relatives and other well-meaning friends try to connect you for coffee, or time out together.

The best way to find friends? Church. Now you might think that is a completely lame suggestion, but it works.

For example, our church has over 500 “ministries” you can get involved with. Everything from Basketball and Volleyball to Hula Dancing and Landscaping. When you find a ministry that sounds good, you join it! You aren’t tied to it, you can come and go as you please…but it is a great way to find people like YOU.

It’s kinda like when you were young and joined soccer…suddenly, during the soccer season, all those players became your friends. You liked soccer, they liked soccer so you became friends.

I promise…joining a ministry and meeting people who like to do what you like to do, will give you the opportunity to have great discussions, bond with others and give you an activity to GO OUT and do.

This my help prevent any uncomfortable man or woman play date that someone might try and set up.

What I learned today…I am so thankful for my friend and her family. And I am so thankful that people around us think enough of us that they want to introduce us to others that they think we might connect with. AND that as you get older, your circle of friends will get smaller so you can spend more quality time with them while you spend quality time with your family. It’s better to have quality than quantity.


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