My Biggest Temptation

I don’t know about you, but my pride is constantly tested. I know it’s an easy way for the enemy to get a foothold into my life so I have to be constantly aware of it.

In my position at work there are so many amazing opportunities to help others learn, grow and get connected. It is a HUGE Blessing…and a HUGE-er Test.

I, Julie, want to be a part of everything, know everything going on, have a say in everything…but that is not what God asks me to do. He asks me to steward what He has given me.

The other day, I wrote this while I was being tested.
My morning looked like this….
Get in at 7am, pray and prepare for the day.
9am – Encourage and train 3 amazing Volunteers coming in to help with paperwork that is very time sensitive
10:30am Run to a Leadership Meeting
11am Team Meeting to discuss budget, plans, etc..
11:30 Run to catch the end of another Leadership Meeting and pick up lunch for Amazing Volunteers
12:30 Start preparing exciting new conference that will enable Ministries to run more effectively
1:30 Strategize a new process for getting the next generation serving on a larger level
Then do everything else that is normal with a day at the office, before running to grab kids for appointments, dinner plans, etc…

What a FUN – PRODUCTIVE – AFFIRMING – ENCOURAGING DAY!!!

Instead I was in at 7am to pray and prepare for the day and got a call from the school saying one of my kids was injured(Yes, again). Me, in my selfishness, first thought – NO!!! Not today!!! I get to be in “leadership” meetings! I get to share my thoughts and needs in team meetings. Me, Me, Me.

My SECOND thought was, my poor child!!!

Not a pretty thing to admit. I am SELFISH. I want to feel important. I was dumb enough to believe that FEELING important in situations around me matters.

On the way to pick up my son, I prayed.
I prayed for God to take my pride.
I prayed thanks for His perfect timing of interruptions.
I prayed for the ability to trust in Him and His plan.
I prayed for Him to constantly remind me, it’s NOT about me. It’s about HIM.
I thanked Him for letting me know through His Word (the Bible).

Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

God already thinks I’m amazing. A Masterpiece! I don’t need to prove anything to anyone around me. I just need to feel secure in HIM. I have to remember day to day, minute by minute that I have been created anew in Jesus Christ and He planned for me to do good things.
Because I couldn’t do what I WANTED today doesn’t mean anything.
HE has my back. HE knows what I need.
If tomorrow He took away my positions, my leadership roles  my family, my health..He will still be there. My identity needs to be as a Child of God, not a good worker, successful,etc… etc…etc…
I needed to NOT be there for some reason. I needed to be with my son at the first appointment, and then wait PATIENTLY for the second appointment.

He’ll be okay. He’ll heal and feel better.
I’m thankful –
Though the day didn’t turn out in the “fantastic” “fruitful” way that I had imagined… I learned a way to heal that drive to do more, and can rest in the lesson God taught me today.

What I learned today…God already knows I’ll have interruptions in life. They are okay and meant to grow me. I can relax in Him and how He made me, knowing He planned for me to do good things, and I will. In His time.

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