I have decided to turn the whining of my family in to a win. For example, when I say we are going to a museum for a family activity, all of my boys tend to start whining. As their mom, I know that one of the best things I can do for my family is open their eyes to new experiences. I can take them places they wouldn’t normally choose to go, to learn things they wouldn’t learn otherwise.
Now, my husband is NOT thrilled when I suggest these things, but thankfully I do the same thing with him that I do with my kids…
I replace their whining words with my own.
For example if my kids say, ” I can’t believe you’d MAKE us go do something so stupid! You obviously hate me if you don’t let me stay home and hang out with my friends!!”.
I translate that in to a winning response and reply, “What I just heard you say was, Thank you, mom, SO MUCH, for broadening my horizons and taking me places I might not have thought to go!”.
Then my husband will say something like, “I can’t believe you are forcing them to go with you. Just let them stay home and do whatever they want.”.
What that translates into is, “I am so thankful you allow us to do things with you. That you have the strength to push through all of our whining and be a great mom to our kids. I love you and your determination.”.
At this point, you might be thinking this is craziness. Or you might think it won’t work for me and that is okay. This works for ME.
When I verbalize the things above, and other ways of responding in a way I wish happened, it changes the feel of the conversation.
I remember that this won’t last forever.
I remember that I only have my family for a limited amount of time.
I remember I am their mom and they love me, even if they aren’t showing it in the moment.
I remember, these are memory making times.
I remember the days are long and the years are short.
How can you protect your heart when you KNOW you are doing the best thing for your family.
What I learned today…Look for the best in all situations. You can find good, or push through knowing, the negative will end. Be patient and do your best to be the best YOU you can be.
You are not responsible for what they say….but how you react to it.