I have always been intrigued by others. Who they are. What made them who they are. Are they really showing who they really are. etc….
Again, don’t judge me, but when my husband and I go out, I like to profile people. Guess who they are, where they came from, what the relationships around them look like.
For me, it is fun as God created me to be observant. When I was a little girl I remember telling my mom our priest had angry eyebrows one day and I wanted to know why because usually they were happy eyebrows.
Some people wear their emotions on their face, others have become skilled at tucking them away.
Which are you?
I walked in to a conversation today of 2 people talking about the “grouchy lady at the Del Taco drive-thru”. She has been labeled grouchy. When I asked if they asked if she was okay, they replied NO. Their response was to be overly happy back to her, to maybe push her in to realizing how she was behaving. Sadly, that didn’t work. It’s something that I have tried, too. Let me try and “show you” how to respond. Or give you a good example of how I think you should be acting at this moment…
I am not proud of that. I just REALLY like good customer service.
I suggested asking if she was having a bad day. That of course could go over just as poorly, but I have learned a couple of reasons they might look grouchy are they-
- Don’t think they are seen
- Don’t realize their emotions are on their face
Sure their could be 1,000s of other reasons, but lets play with these two. 🙂
Believe it or not, not everyone was brought up in a loving and encouraging home. Some people are in horrible situations. Some people are made to feel as though they are invisible. Some people NEED to be seen. Look at them and ask how they are. They matter! If you are aware of someone acting “off” ASK THEM HOW THEY ARE. Don’t just push it aside or talk about them, talk TO them. You could change their life!
Sometimes people just don’t realize they are letting their emotions show or they have the permanent “not nice” face that we talked about before. Let them know by asking how their day is going, then LISTENING to the response. PUSH IN. I have a friend who has her eyebrows waxed and she never knew that the way she styles them makes her look angry…all the time. Where she is from, that is how they are worn. She had never even thought about how the style was probably started to look intimidating. CRAZY right? It took someone asking her, to help her realize that the look DID intimidate people, but it was the ones she was trying to attract as friends.
How can you show grace to someone that is irritating you? How can you remind yourself that you have NO IDEA what someone else might be going through.
How can you remember to push in…even if someone is always smiling, and ask how they are doing…then stop to LISTEN to what they say.
What I learned today…I am not always the best and pushing in. God expects me to. Not to become best friends with everyone, but to show that others are seen and heard.