I love to argue.
I mean, I LOVE to argue.
PTC (Prior To Christ changing my life) I took sadistic pleasure in “teaching” people lessons. I had a way of turning the tides to make someone who had disagreed with me, feel bad about disagreeing with me. I looked for battles to win. I looked for ways I could come out on top.
Why? Because I battled with feelings of inadequacy. They small glimpses of pride I’d feel when I would win an argument, was an addiction. Each feeling of success after a win wouldn’t last long, so I’d crave more.
Now when you get married…you have someone to argue with ALL THE TIME! Generally, you marry your opposite, which makes it SO EASY TO DO, too.
I was a pro, for YEARS at arguing about everything with my husband. Creating wedge after wedge in our marriage, doing my best to make him feel unworthy of me. Yes, that sounds harsh, but I had to protect myself. I had such a low self-esteem, I felt I had to make others feel horrible, so I looked better.
I know, sick. (Not in the cool new way “sick” is said, but in the “That is HORRIBLE” way).
Since coming to Jesus (meaning, starting and growing a relationship with Him through the Bible), I have learned to have more confidence in myself. Not only that, but I also have learned to NOT argue. For example, in the car the other day, I was almost egged in to an argument. I knew I was right, my husband knew HE was right…and we could have circled the topic forever. Instead of getting drawn in to it, I just said, “Okay”.
To take time to argue over something that will have no effect on absolutely anything, is a waste of time. Now don’t get me wrong, there are PLENTY of things to stand up for…but that is different than arguing. I can stand up for what I believe it, but I will not waste time arguing about it. I can inform people concerning what I believe in, but I won’t defend it.
I do raise a stink every now and then…who am I kidding, quite often, when I feel someone is being unjustly treated. I have said before, and I’ll say it again, I believe we are all brothers and sisters regardless of you believing it or not. That being said, it is my job to do what Jesus asked of me and that is to LOVE God and LOVE you. All of you.
To some, that is a cop-out. To me, it’s a marriage saver. To me, it’s healthy way to live.
What I learned today…Choosing NOT to argue over everything, can save marriages and friendships. It can save time and keep me healthy. I can physically, mentally and emotionally stop myself from being drawn into arguments and I should.
See if you can “turn the other cheek” when someone baits you in to an argument.
I promise, it feels good to not grab the bait.