Whining or Winning?

I have decided to turn the whining of my family in to a win. For example, when I say we are going to a museum for a family activity, all of my boys tend to start whining. As their mom, I know that one of the best things I can do for my family is open their eyes to new experiences. I can take them places they wouldn’t normally choose to go, to learn things they wouldn’t learn otherwise.

Now, my husband is NOT thrilled when I suggest these things, but thankfully I do the same thing with him that I do with my kids…

I replace their whining words with my own.

For example if my kids say, ” I can’t believe you’d MAKE us go do something so stupid! You obviously hate me if you don’t let me stay home and hang out with my friends!!”.

I translate that in to a winning response and reply, “What I just heard you say was, Thank you, mom, SO MUCH, for broadening my horizons and taking me places I might not have thought to go!”.

Then my husband will say something like, “I can’t believe you are forcing them to go with you. Just let them stay home and do whatever they want.”.

What that translates into is, “I am so thankful you allow us to do things with you. That you have the strength to push through all of our whining and be a great mom to our kids. I love you and your determination.”.

At this point, you might be thinking this is craziness. Or you might think it won’t work for me and that is okay. This works for ME.

When I verbalize the things above, and other ways of responding in a way I wish happened, it changes the feel of the conversation.

I remember that this won’t last forever.

I remember that I only have my family for a limited amount of time.

I remember I am their mom and they love me, even if they aren’t showing it in the moment.

I remember, these are memory making times.

I remember the days are long and the years are short.

How can you protect your heart when you KNOW you are doing the best thing for your family.

What I learned today…Look for the best in all situations. You can find good, or push through knowing, the negative will end. Be patient and do your best to be the best YOU you can be.

You are not responsible for what they say….but how you react to it.

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Old Friends, Rock’n Roll & My Big Butt

Saturday night we were invited to a party and a friend’s house and another friend’s band was playing their yearly St. Patty’s Day gig.

I would love to say I was having a hard time deciding which one to go to, but I wasn’t. My heart wanted to attend both and have fun like the “good ‘ole days”, but my mind was saying…NOOOOOOOOO! Have you seen your butt?!?!?

I have already written about my insecurity about my size. I have started the road to becoming healthier. I have NOT gotten my self-esteem on track with the issue. Did I REALLY want to go to two different parties and have a BLAST with old friends, catching up with them and their lives, hearing about their families? Of course I did. Was I going to allow myself to be stopped by my own insecurities? Of course.

That played in to the tantrum I wrote about yesterday as well.

We went to our church service, and as I walked in, I realize how much of our lives have changed. Do I miss going crazy and partying each weekend? To be honest, yes, sometimes. Do I miss hanging out watch friends get crazy and dance around? Yes, sometimes. But I realized, we were sitting in service with our best friends. They have been a constant for the last 3 years. They know the new redeemed and transformed Julie and Chad.

I sat there asking God if I would ever feel comfortable with my size. He reminded me I am working on it and with His help all things are possible. I told Him I was sad I wasn’t able to go see old friends perform…and then an old friend walked on to the stage. At church. To sing. I almost giggled out loud as my eyes welled with tears. emily b She sang a beautiful song that went straight to my heart. Even these lyrics that were on the screen as I took the picture… It reminded me, If God is with me, who can be against me?

I don’t have to worry about my big butt. Jesus loves me right where I am. He wants me to be healthy, but I shouldn’t stop going places and doing things because of how I look. I have nothing to prove. I can enjoy life knowing that I have no one to prove myself too.

What I learned today…My God loves me, unconditionally and will be with me wherever I go. I need to kick my insecurities to the curb and keep THAT fresh in my mind. No more excuses or big “buts”.

 

 

What is blurrier? World or Purpose

Life has been a terrific rollercoaster full of ups and downs.
Currently I find myself in seminary! What?! Right?!
More on how I got there in a later post. For now, I was asked to write a short post on Leadership and Blind Spots.

Reading through all the other students wonderful posts I was stumped. They were very elequent in talking about how blind spots in leadership can lead you down a slippery path. I agree.

I did want to take a different spin on it…

What I found is, anytime I see a blind spot was involved in my life and/or those around me, it’s been a huge benefit.  Most of the time it was an area God had purposely taken from my view so I could concentrate solely on the things HE wanted me to focus on.
As a whole I see it this way – If you hold your pointer finger up in front of you, and concentrate on the other side of the room, your finger goes blurry and you can see everything else in the room. Now, concentrate on your finger…what happens to the rest of the room, it goes blurry, right?

God puts something in front of us to steward well. If we pay attention to everything happening around us and in the world, our purpose gets fuzzy. When we look at just that 1 thing God put in front of us, the rest of the world and all it has to offer, and off-set our purpose, gets fuzzy and fades.
As we bring the finger closer, or what God has for us to concentrate on, suddenly blind spots start to happen in our view. When we are in relationship with Him and listening to His direction for us, rather than running and setting our own path (think Jonah 1:3), or hurrying His path along (think Sarah Genesis 16:2), He will put blind spots in our path to keep us on the straight and narrow. Not walking to the left or the right, but straight on the path. Proverbs 4:27
Are you paying attention to what God has put in your life? Who God has put in your life? What He has given you?
Take a moment to slow down…take a look around…and ask yourself, What am I doing with what I have been given?

What I learned today…I need to steward what I have around me well.