Highs and Lows

I don’t know about you, when I have a REALLY good day, I forget that all things are temporary. On the same note, when I have a REALLY bad day, I forget the same thing.

This weekend was pretty amazing. Sitting down with someone I didn’t know who was able to take my life and remind me of the truth of how God made me. Coming off the high from the weekend, I forgot that I generally hit a low soon after.

Personally, I believe we can be such a positive force for good that evil has to throw a wrench in wherever he can. If I am loving how God made me, and sharing how knowing what you are built for puts you even closer to doing what God has for you, of COURSE there will be opposition. Today, it felt a bit overwhelming.

Now, I have a choice to crumble under the pressure of 3 things that happened today, that each on their own could be debilitating. I did take moments throughout the day to cry out to God. AND, to be honest, physically cry whether it be in my office, a stairway, or in my car. After each release and pause, I turned my face up, wiped away the tears, and carried on.

Though my day could have crushed me, I choose to be joyful and ask God to show me all the blessings around. He reminded me of what my husband shared in our small group, “If there is breath in our lungs, we have a chance to rejoice. God gave us another day and another breath”.

Today had it’s highs and lows. I am CHOOSING to take a moment and pray about the lows, asking for direction, guidance, support and wisdom. I am choosing to put another step forward and rejoice, thanking God for always being faithful.

Today I learned…I cannot control my families thoughts or actions. I can pray and keep praying. I have to remind myself that God loves my family even more than I do, though I can’t understand that!

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing”


Don’t “Pray” for Me

Have you ever come across people that say, “I’ll pray for you”, and as soon as they walk away, you have the feeling like that was just a parting Christian term that they say all the time? Me, too.

Are you someone who has said, “I’ll pray for you”, and then TOTALLY forgotten to actually do it? Me, too.

I have found the very best thing to do is –

  1. STOP and pray for them, with them right then and their.
  2. As you walk away, take a moment to pray for them, while you are walking away and it’s fresh in your mind.

With the first suggestion I have found that their is generally enough time to pray for someone. Why? Because that is what God would want us to do, so He extends the time for us! Tell you what, grab a watch with a second hand or a timer and watch 30 seconds go by. It’s actually quite a long period of time! If you wait for each second to pass, you see how a little can go a long way. Pray, even if it’s for 30 seconds, pray.

With the second option, make sure you take a moment and pray for them as you walk away. If people you are walking with start a conversation right up, say, “Hold on for just a second.”. You don’t have to say you are going to pray, or maybe you do.

God still listens to “microwave” prayers. You know, the quick ones that are “Please, God”. The goal is to talk to Him more!

What I learned today…To NOT be someone who just talks about praying for someone, but to consistently PRAY FOR THEM.

Helpful Hint – Wherever you seem to stop and pray for the longest time, or whatever area you look at the most, put up post-its of who you need to pray for. My list around my computer has names I change frequently, as I hear of prayers being answered, and others stay consistent as they are always in my prayers.

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So Many Tears!

Here I AmI have never been much of a cry-er. To me tears were a waste of time and showed how weak you are, unless you were using them to get what you want.

One of my first memories of really being broken hearted for something bigger than myself, I was vacuuming with I was around 10yrs old and singing the song “Here I Am Lord”. I was singing it with all my heart to God. It goes like this….

I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.
I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have born my peoples pain.
I have wept for love of them, They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak My word to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I told God, I would love to help His people. I wanted to help people feel as deeply as I felt for Him, even though I thought it was weird because it didn’t seem like anyone I knew really knew and loved Him like I did.

Fast forward… a lot of dysfunction, years of hitting just about every sin I could manage, and here I am, again. Calling out to Him for me to be allowed to help His people in any way I can.

After years and years of shutting off my feelings, and see any sign of uncontrolled emotion as weak, it is such an abnormal feeling to feel absolutely, completely, heartbroken when I think of God’s people. Yes, that includes EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not, I believe He created you. It breaks my heart that you can’t feel His love and see Him work in your life. All you have to do is reach out to Him and He is waiting.

It breaks my heart when His family of believers is taken for granted, abused, forgotten, mistreated, not led well…

It breaks my heart to see someone working or serving in a way they just aren’t built for. Holding on to a relationship, position, ministry, that they are not built for. Watching it rob them of the blessing God can pour out, when they listen to Him and use the talents and abilities God gave them. Or take His call for them to stay or leave a situation, based on HIS direction.

What do I do about it? Pray and pray some more. Allow myself to feel brokenhearted and let my emotions show.

I need to remember it’s unhealthy to keep emotions bottled inside. My pastor talked all about it at our leadership training tonight.

I’ll be writing more about it over time. I’m still processing through a lot.

What I learned today…Even though I can’t stand sharing emotions, God has blessed me with an opportunity to do just that in the positions he keeps putting me in to. I need to keep leaning on Him and trusting Him to take care of me as I share my emotions…even though it is still uncomfortable for me.

I sing once again –

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.