Chad vs Julie

Okay, so my husband and I are both very competitive. What helps? HUMOR.

Back when I was doing everything I could to work on our relationship, I read a book called The Five Love Languages.

It basically talks about how we all have a different view of what love looks like. Some feel loved by affirmation, some by receiving gifts, physical touch, time spent, and acts of service.

I talked about it with Chad, way back when, and realized, his love language is absolutely physical touch. That mixed with time spent. UGH. Mine are the opposite. I’m more of an affirmation and gifts type of person.

When I realized how different we are, and how I was doing to him what I like, I realized I needed to make a change. I started touching him more. Yes, I did hope that meant he’d start working on showing me he loved me the way I feel it, but that isn’t how it works.

I started touching his back more. Grabbing his hand. Holding his arm. Sitting close. It wasn’t something I was used to doing, it was something I was made aware he needed.

As I started to purposefully touch him more when I was around him…and be around him more, I noticed, he became happier! Isn’t that funny how it works.

He wasn’t even aware I was purposefully doing it, until a funny interaction happened today.

The conversation went like this…

I walked by while he was shaving and I started scratching his back lightly.

He said, “Thank you. I love when you do that.”

I said, “I know. I do it purposefully.  You told me you liked it so I do it.”

He said, “That is so nice!”

I said, “I had to learn to do it…kinda like I was hoping you’d learn to affirm me and give me gifts. Ha Ha”.

He responded with, “Wow. That must mean I’m a much better teacher”.

BWHAHAHAHAH

I couldn’t stuck on what I wasn’t getting, but look at that humor. I love the man. It could’ve gone south, but his response was perfect!

What is something you do for your roommate, sibling, parent, spouse, etc… that you do because you know they like it, not because you get something out of it?

What I learned today…Remember what makes my people happy and do it. The joy I can find in their happiness is priceless. AND continue to remind them what makes me happy. Especially if they aren’t natural inclined to do it.

 

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Don’t Feel Loving?

If you’ve stopped feeling love, the first step is to remember what it is like to act with love and then do it.  The Bible has the perfect verse to keep handy in these times.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galations 6:9)

I know I go through waves of not “feeling” like loving some of the people around me. Can you relate? Are you suppose to be loving that person? Spouse? Parent? Child? Sibling?

Don’t skip over this as you grow in your walk with God! I know it’s hard, but I bet God is putting someone on your heart who applies…”we will reap a harvest if we do not give up”. The more we are learning, getting closer to God, the more He will give us chances to be the loving people we are meant to be.

The challenge today is to pray that God will help you be more loving to whoever He put on your heart. Don’t expect a response from them. Don’t do it because you want anything reciprocated. Do it because God does it for us every day. When we are unlovable, He still loves us. Our goal is to be the best “lovers” of God and His people that we can be. Sometimes that means humbling ourselves in relationships and becoming better at loving.

Pray for your relationship with God to grow. It will! As that happens, you will automatically see those relationships around you change.

What I learned today…I can’t let a busy lifestyle rob me of growing in my relationships. Life is all about relationships.